This morning my alarm went off and I rolled over to see Allie between us, looking like a little cherub in her fleece footie pajamas, knees tucked under, tushy in the air, mouth open slightly, fast asleep. On the other side was my annoying phone which was vibrating and telling me it was time to go. Go, go, go.
Im trying to remember what Sunday's were like before this job. It was six years ago and that feels like it was a lifetime ago because we weren't married, BA (before Allison), my father was still alive and I worked some job that I both loved and hated. Im sure we slept in way past when normal people got up, and when we woke up Im sure we laid there like blobs trying to discuss how we could/should/would spend the day until after noon. Saturday was cleaning day (THAT I freakin remember...ugh) so I guess Sunday was for doing....whatever.
Now, Sunday is for getting up early, driving all over our town and towns nearby to get to appointments, in hopes that I can get home and spend quality time with Allie before I have to go out and do it again later that same day. For Justin, Sunday is getting up when Allie does, turning on Peppa Pig or Mickey Mouse, fetching her breakfast, laying in bed or playing in the living room until I get home. I seriously like his version better.
Periodically, I'll have no work on Sunday and I will be able to have the Justin version of Sundays, but its foreign to me. As much as I love it, I know its a fluke and it won't last. There is a tiny part of me that will not let me enjoy the moment because Im afraid to get comfortable and then have it taken away from me. Most of all, I spend a lot of time wondering how long it would take for me to adjust to that being the norm if I no longer had this way of living. I'd like to think it would be speedy! Although I think I would feel like a fish out of water for awhile.
I'd like my weekends back please. Or at least give me Sunday.
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