Too School For Cool

School is back.

What the hell?

Didn't summer just start?   Here in NY, it didn't even get moving until mid-July and just when I started enjoying it, BAM!  School.

Allie will be in Pre-K this year.  Her last year before her formal education begins.  The last year that she probably will enjoy the entire day of school.  After this there is homework.  Yes, Kindergarten has homework.

What the hell?  Again!

What happened to half days of Kindergarten where you fought over all of the germy toys, took naps, and ran around like lunatics?  Now they are full days of school, and the toys and running around are limited.  And no freakin' nap! 

The nap has officially been removed from the curriculum.  This, my friend, is where the nap went to die.  I had hoped that the other grades would catch on to the handiness of the nap and then eventually this would evolve into a mandatory daily work event.  When you're five, you don't want to nap!  It's when you're 35 that you need a siesta!

Think about it.... 2pm in the middle of the day, you bust out your comfy pillow and favorite woobie and take a snoozle.  25 minutes later, you wake up refreshed and ready to move on.  It would BEHOOVE companies to have a mandatory nap time.  

Also, rumor has it that kids should be reading in Kindergarten.  When I was in Kindergarten, there were two kids who knew how to read.  And they were shipped off to sit with the 2nd graders for a bit during the morning for some sort of kiddie book club.  And those kids really wanted to just stay in the classroom and play with the germy toys, take a nap, and run around.  You were a freak if you knew how to read at that age.  Now it's no biggie.  My mother can no longer puff up with pride when she tells people that I was one of those two reading freaks.  Parents these days are probably thinking "Big whoop.  All kindergarteners can read now.  Get over yourself."

Speaking of reading, I thought I'd clarify a little something. 

As I mentioned last time, yes I am writing a book.  I will not tell you what the book is about yet, but I can confirm that it is NOT a memoir or about a certain scandalous company that I used to work for.  Are we clear on that?  All of the people from my past do not need to worry.  I'm not going to share deep, dark secrets about past relationships, so you can chill out.  

Now, in regards to that aforementioned scandalous company, should someone come into a little cashola and want to pay me to gather info and write a book, then I'm available and I'm talkin'!  We all spent our years at that place saying, "I could totally write a book about this place.  The shit that happens here is craaaaaaaazy!"  You know who you all are!  If you're up for it, I'm game!

It's a fiction novel and I'm 1/3 done.  I'm doing research and whatnot now before continuing but I'm very excited about doing it.  November is National Novel Writing Month and I'm hoping to finish the next third of the book as I join the other NaNoWriMos (yes, this is an actual organization) in the commitment to write 50,000 words of my novel.

Anyway, back to school......

Tomorrow is orientation for Allie's school and Friday will be her first day back to school.  I will be taking the obligatory "First Day of Pre-K" photo and I might even post it on Facebook or Instagram like the rest of the parental population.  I'm sure the people without little deductions roll their eyes and groan when school begins as we parents clog up their social media with photos of kids they don't care about.  I'm pretty sure I was an eye roller before Allie.  But throughout the flurry of photos, someone posted this and I can't believe it took so long for someone to come up with this witty little snapshot:

Well done, KC Walsh!  Well done!

And while I'm complaining, does anyone know who the fucker was that decided all swimming pools should close on Labor Day?  Who was that rotten bastard?  And why Labor Day?  Every year, it's blazing freakin' hot the week of Labor Day and I stand there, sweating, on my front lawn, ogling the pool across the street that's completely full of water and totally operational..... but padlocked.  

I hate them.  They should be sent to Guantanamo Bay Detention Center, forced it sit in the sun and stare at a refreshing body of water for just as long as I have to sweat outside and gawk at my pool.  It's just plain wrong.   At least drain the damn thing so I don't have to look at it, and be tortured by the memories of the cool refreshing water that I submerged my body into on those dreadfully hot sunny days.

And with that, I must leave you to put my little human, and my big self,  into bed.  After all, it's a pre-school night!

Toodles!

xoxox

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