Guesseology

Well, it certainly has been a busy few weeks.  I sat down to blog a few times and got distracted by....well.... life.  It started to get frustrating.

The funny thing about "life" is that it keeps going and interrupting things.  Ya' kinda want it to.  The alternative is less desirable.

As usual, the weather and my disdain for meteorologists has forced me to pause life and vent.  I'm just constantly blown away by fact that these people make a ton of money for taking a big fat guess at what Mother Nature is going to throw at us next. 

However, what I saw today was the final straw.  I sit here on my soap box in protest!

These weather people may be permitted to do guesswork every day, but when they start saying, "F**k it.  We have no clue.  We'll get back to you on this one." I think they are just really pushing their luck!

Shitty Forecasting - Exhibit A

Essentially, these people had an issue with next Wednesday but not Tuesday or Thursday.  They guess every other day of the week!  What about Wednesday was so damn perplexing?

In my head I see a bunch of meteorologists standing in front of a computer, totally stumped, having the following conversation:

"Jeez.  Look at Wednesday.  What's up with that?"
"I dunno.  What do you think?"
"I'm really not sure.  This one is a real mind bender."
"Well we have to put SOMETHING down."
"I say we just put a question mark on Wednesday and see what happens."
"Works for me!  Maybe they won't even notice."
"Sounds good.  Where's the question mark on the keyboard?"
"Who knows how to type?"
(they all look around at each other)
"No one knows how to type?.....Anyone?..... Bueller?...... Bueller?"

I totally should've went to Meteorology school.  Yes, that degree really does exist.  I don't know why.  It should be called "The Guess What's Going to Happen Outside Degree." Today I could've been taking a class on the Multi-Model Ensemble Prediction of Ethiopian Monthly-to-Seasonal Monsoon Rainfall if I was at the University of Oklahoma.  

They can figure THAT out but they can't figure out what's gonna happen on Wednesday next week??!!

For those of you who want to change the field of Meteorology to include accuracy, here's what you can do to ease the pain and suffering of those who have fallen victim to the pack o' lies presented by these overpaid, professional b.s.ers.  Anyone who has been on the back of a motorcycle trying to outrun a storm on a day that was supposed to be "Sunny" knows my pain.  

I had wanted to post photos from our vacation last weekend, but due to something that is either a cold or seasonal allergies, I have the attention span of a tsetse fly when it comes to scanning thru a hundred photos.  I'll get on it as soon as I find out what I've got so I can medicate myself correctly according to my symptoms.  

Anyone who knows about my wedding drama knows that I'm now extremely cautious about taking stuff without knowing what's really wrong with me.  I have Tylenol Cold AND Claritin ready to jump into action once I figure it out.  

One of the Commandments should be "Thou shalt not combine medications unsupervised."  It would be a bit far down on the list, like the 23rd Commandment or something, but it would be a valuable one, nonetheless.

In the meantime, I wish you all a fabulous week with a forecast as lovely as the one above (should it actually be accurate)!

If you were even slightly entertained please click the banner below.  It will look like nothing really happened, but something did.  I promise.

Cactus Day Helpers Cool Off the Northeast

This is our very disturbing local forecast for a part of this week:

The rest of the week pretty much looks the same. Mudder
 flucker.

Why do I find this disturbing?

Please look at the little icon between Wed Day and 93 degrees.  Do you see
it?  It's not so big so you may have to get close to the screen to really see the problem.

The picture is a blazing hot sun with a cactus.   I live in the Northeast.

Cacti are NOT indigenous to our area!  That is NOT a good sign.

If it's going to be so hot that we are going to have cacti sprouting up all over the place, I'm so totally screwed! 

I suppose the cactus is appropriate considering it's my own personal Hell Week.  Maybe cacti will be flying up out of the ground.  Perhaps it's a side effect of hell freezing over; all of that cold air is pushing Hell's cacti up?  I've been watching the forecast since last week, fretting as each Regular Summer Day gets upgraded to Sunny Cactus Day.

Today, at the peak of the hot weather, I got locked out of a house.  The dog is panting, I have sweat rolling from the top of my head down, the dog just wants to lay down, I feel lightheaded, and as I reach for the doorknob, it's not budging.

A thought hit me like a sickening ton of bricks.  'My car key is inside with the key to the house and my phone is in my car.' Ugh.

I try the door again.  It's still not budging.  Damn persistent locked door!

Oh. My. God.  Really?  Now?!  It's skatey-eight kajillion degrees, for cripes sake!!

(Im working on curbing my foul language by substituting it with other less effective words since Allie has started repeating everything we say.)

A neighbor was home, thank God, so I borrowed their phone to call Justin.  I explained my drama and Mr. Don't Worry Everything Will Be Fine says, "Give me a few minutes.  I'll be there."

I sat under a tree with the dog and just stared at the ground, feeling driplets of sweat rolling down my everywhere!  As gross as I felt, at least I'm not walking around with a full length fur coat on like the poor girl laying at my feet was.

I hear the car pull up and two doors shut.  I hear Justin say, "C'mon, Al.  Do you have your tool box?"

"Yes, Daddy.  I can help Mommy too!"

And from around the corner comes Mr. Hear I Come To Save The Day and his trusty assistant with her tools.  It was so precious that it took by breath away.

She's my own kid, who I see perform cute acts on a regular basis, and I still couldn't get over it.  I had to take pictures with Justin's phone.  As I took this one, she said very seriously, "It's not funny."  She was NOT fooling around!

She got her toolbox from her Grandma (Justin's mom) and it's one of her favorite things.  I guess since it's in the blood (tool man's daughter) I should not be surprised.  Her little hammer, saw, screwdriver, wrench, nuts and bolts are in there.  The ultimate tool as in her other hand.

A spaghetti measurer.

That was the one that had me giggling.  I don't know what she thinks it is, but she thinks it's entirely necessary to get me back in the house.  And she doesn't think it's a laughing matter.

In the midst of my day, in what could easily be Hell's Bathroom, this sweet little ray of sunshine appeared.  Getting locked out of the house, sweating like a pig, feeling helpless.....none of it mattered and it was all washed away, leaving me smiling from ear to ear. The drama ain't got nothing on Daddy's Little Helper.  

May your Hellacious Cactus Days be filled with Refreshing Handyman Assistants too!