An Overdue Apology

I'm not really sure how to even begin.

I've owed you an apology for so long, but only recently realized this.

I think I should start by saying thank you.  Thank you for putting so much into our life together.  Thank you for keeping me going when I thought I couldn't continue.    Thank you for all of the things you have done for me and for how perfectly you've done them.

I can't imagine how I overlooked your grace, beauty and fluidity.  Instead, I was busy focusing on the things about you that I wish were different.  It's disgraceful.  I promise you that I will take the time to appreciate all of the things about you that are beautiful.   I will say nice things to you from now on and I will begin with your beauty.

You are unique and beautiful and strong and brilliant.  You do miraculous things every day that I don't entirely understand, and often I don't praise you for them.   I should be shouting from the rooftop how incredible you are!

Thank you for tolerating me every time I was harsh in my treatment of you, or when I spoke of you so cruelly.  I regret that I criticized you or lashed out at you, and meanwhile you were forced to tolerate it.  You've had no choice but to carry on.  If any other friend or family member said the things about me that I have said about you, I would have disowned them.  

I  wanted you to change constantly.  I've deprived you of what you needed in hopes that you would change, and when you didn't, I insulted you and claimed that something was wrong with you.  The cruelty is mind-blowing.  I feel such shame over this.

It is impossible to comprehend how you endured the endless comparisons to others!  If someone had told me that so-and-so was prettier or more perfect than me, I would have said that they were being verbally abusive.  I have been the reproachful one and I was totally oblivious.

I am begging you to forgive me and to find a way to trust me again.  I will let you be you and allow you to function in the ways you are supposed to.    In time, I hope that you will feel safe enough with me to "just do you" and not try to jump hoops to try to conform to who I thought you should be.  You are perfect and I will treat you that way from now on.

Today I will turn over a new leaf.  I promise.  I will say nice things to you.  I will talk nicely about you to others.  I will take time to appreciate all of your gifts.  I will give you things you've asked for but arrogantly felt you couldn't handle or didn't deserve.

I am so grateful that you haven't given up on me or turned on me......and I'm sorry that it's taken me this long to see how poorly I've treated you.

Thank you for always giving me another chance.

I only have one body, and you are it.  Without you I am nothing.

With Love,
Your Mind

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Insane DIet News

It's the diet news that's nuts.....not a diet based on insanity, just in case you were confused by the title 😉.

Actually.....can you imagine that?  "A diet that will make you insane!  But we promise you'll lose weight!"  I can't even fathom how many people would actually consider it..... cuz trust me when I say that there are people who would.

I had to pause there and think that one through.  Was there any point in my life where I would actually agree to go temporarily insane in order to lose weight?  And the answer was YES.  I'm very sad for that version of Me.  Desperate times, people.  Desperate times.

Anywho!  (Don't you just love people who say that?)

I've completed my sixth week on Lydia Wente's Beat the Binge program and I'm just so pleased with the entire process.  My next post will explain how life changing it was for me in greater detail, but as of now I can tell you that I have NOT binged in over six weeks.  It's the first time in over 20 years.  I feel informed, educated, enlightened, supported, loved (yes, LOVED!) and free!

As I said, LIFE CHANGING.

But I'm getting ahead of myself here.  I wanted to touch on two other topics today before I get into the subject of my progress.  I want to be a little bit closer to the end of the program before I share that information, but trust me, it's coming!

First, a few people reached out to me about their confusion over whether overeating is the same as binging.  It's not.  To help you understand the difference, I made the quick video below:

Click here if you don't see a video above

Part of the freedom I've gained is due to the acceptance of the previously alluded-to diet news.  I think you'll find this as interesting as I did:

Click here if you don't see a video above

So, what do you think?  I imagine there are a number of people who refuse to accept that diets don't work, or that there isn't a magic pill/drink/program out there to take our weight loss woes away.  That's completely understandable as many of us  (and I say US because it was my way of thinking for 30 years as well) have put all of our hope into this one belief.  It's our only salvation if we "ever want to find true happiness and the ability to love our bodies".   That one diet/drink/program/pill is our Holy Grail!  If not for that, what hope do we have???!

While we are busy spending money on trying everything that the diet industry is trying to shove down our throats (pun totally intended), the answer sits before us every moment of every day.  And it's FREE.  No joke.  FREE.

As the diet industry pushes us over the edge of insanity, urging us to spend every waking moment planning and counting and buying helpful weight loss aids, inner peace and freedom stares back at us in the mirror.  Unfortunately, most of us don't believe that this is even possible.  In our minds, if we can't lose weight WITH the help of "science", how can we possibly do with WITHOUT?

The reality is that the true science is within us, but we keep messing with it.  The "fake science" (not related to Trump's "fake news"), has tricked us into believing that we need their extra help, when the truth is that every time we take their extra help, we get further and further from our goal.

So, what am I getting at?

Our bodies know how to do "this" already.  With the exception of some of us with medical issues, our bodies are built to keep us alive and healthy and in shape.  The science behind the human body will help you with balancing your weight as long as you treat it well.   We need to stop putting crappy food and metabolism- destroying substances into our bodies and let it do its job!  Like a good employee, if you treat your body well, you will get good results!

Put good, healthy food in your body and it will run with peak performance.  Stop with the "something better"!  Every time you use "something better", you are pushing your body further from optimal performance and creating a longer recovery period when you finally figure all of this all out.

But you CAN do it.  Give your body a chance to undo all of the "mystery miracles" that you've tried to enhance it, let your body regulate itself and do its job.  It's very capable if you let just treat it well.

This next video is great!  It's one of my favorites.  I've been dying to share Lydia's video about what happens to your body after you stop restricting (i.e. dieting) or bingeing.  If it doesn't click the first time, watch it again.  After all, it's under 5 minutes and she's very entertaining! :-)

Click here if you don't see a video above

If you are like me and spent numerous years binge eating and dieting your way through life, PLEASE click here for Lydia's 5 Elements to End Binge Eating FREE Masterclass.  She's so amazing and I just absolutely adore her.  (More about that next time 😄)

Here are a few other interesting links that I thought you might enjoy......

Why Diets Don't Work....And What Does from Psychology Today

13 Experts Explain Why Diets Don't Work from BuzzFeed

A Neuroscientist Tackles 'Why Diets Make Us Fat' from NPR

Please click here if you don't see a video above

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Many blessings,
Vicki

Sharing A Spring Secret

Howdy partners!  It's been awhile.  I hope you're enjoying this slightly chilly transition into Spring.  I think Mother Nature is done asking us to "hold her beer" so she can show off with her dazzling displays of bombagenesis and whatnot.  Finally.....’tis time for blooming, everyone!

The great thing about Spring is that it's a fresh beginning for the Earth.  Everything that grows gets to come out and reveal itself in all of its glory.

I'm having a Personal Spring of my own.

I was quite nervous about this post.  No, quite isn't the word.  I was SERIOUSLY FREAKING NERVOUS about this post.  Yeah, that's more accurate.  (And the caps are totally necessary.)

I had a physical setback in the form of a broken bone at the beginning of February.  For 40+ years, I've avoided any physical injury that might seriously interfere with my life.  Mental drama, sure!  Physical trauma, not so much.

The funny thing about physical trauma is that in the true fashion of misery, it loves company.... in the form of mental drama.  Being unable to do every day things like brush my hair or put on a bra or cut up vegetables or even open a can of pet food wreaked havoc on my brain.  For someone who prides themselves on being independent and able to take on the world, all of this sent me into a fit of depression.

(Side note:  Nothing is worse than needing your husband to help you with personal feminine items, just in case you were wondering what the worst part could have been.  It was humbling and mortifying, to say the least.)

So, there I was in my deep depression, needing assistance, and randomly bursting into a pity party at any moment when I had an awakening.  A Personal Spring of sorts.

The situation revealed that my preferred method of coping with stress was not normal.  It was far from normal and it was spiraling out of control.  For 20+ years, I developed and perfected a coping mechanism that no one knew about.

How did I do this for so long and not realize it was a problem, not a solution?!  When had my extreme behavior become normalized in my mind?!  Had I gone too far to turn back?!

I was so good at keeping my behavior a secret that no one knew.  No one.  Not my family.  Not my dearest friends.  Not even my pets!  (Cuz pets are people too, you know.  They see crap; they just don't tell anyone.) (I know....it's not normal.)

Unable to cope with the reality of my situation, I knew I had to tell someone because, clearly, I wasn't able to help myself.  I didn't even see myself as "messed up" until 20 years had passed!  So, I swallowed my shame and embarrassment and pride and told my husband.  And he encouraged me to tell my mom as well.  And before I knew it, I had stopped running in circles and began moving forward in a straight line.

You know, I bet it was the dizziness from running in circles for 20 years that had me thinking everything was normal!  I am blond, you know.

So, in conclusion, let me introduce you to my Personal Spring.   (Click here if you do not see a video below)

Links to the sources in the video are below.... scroll down!

There ya have it!  All the deets.

That scared the bejeezus out of me.  All of the thoughts and fears I had of being judged or wondering if my friends would treat me differently were pushed aside when I asked my mom, "What do you think about me putting this out there?"

Her answer?  "We need to share things like this.  Maya Angelou did it when she put out I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings about the hardships she went through and she made a difference.  So, why wouldn't you talk about this?"  My mother made me feel like I was as important as Maya Angelou, y'all!  How freaking awesome is she at being a mom?!  Damn, I'm lucky!

I also feel compelled to add this statement in reference to this post and other previous blog posts:

(Click here if you don't see a video below)

With that, I'm going to leave you with something beautiful.  If you are a woman, take a moment to read through this and see the beauty in it... because it's about all of us.  Really.  Feel Phenomenal!

Love,
Vicki
xoxoxo


LINKS:
Lydia Wente's site: http://www.lydiawente.com
Lydia's YouTube channel:

https://www.youtube.com/user/Lydiapher (start with the video marked [#1])
Summer Innanen's book: https://tinyurl.com/ycdxxw9l
Wendy Hendry's book: https://tinyurl.com/y7yvuckz

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Fentanyl Free.....Finally

This is probably one of the most personal things I’ve ever discussed publically, but now is the time to do it.   Amongst the death of yet another celebrity due to Fentenyl usage, I am blessed to find cause to celebrate.

I imagine you've heard the news about the opioid epidemic in America. You may have heard about Prince and Tom Petty, both of whom were prescribed this powerful narcotic for their pain, only to die from accidental overdoses.   Chances are that you thought that they were taking it to get high and that’s how they overdosed.  I’d bet the bank that the true story is something entirely different. I'm guessing that it's actually an extremely sad ending to a very common situation.

Perhaps you know someone who had multiple back surgeries, like my husband did, or maybe a cancer patient who is in terrible pain and has one of those Fentanyl patches on their body.  Or maybe they wear multiple patches, like Justin did.  

Justin is one of the few lucky ones to have a happy ending to his opioid story.  As of a few weeks ago, following seven years of wearing Fentenyl patches for pain management, my husband is finally free of it.    

He is badass.  He’s strong.  He’s my hero.

Unexpectedly, Justin wasn’t the only one wearing that patch for all of these years.  His family wore it too.  Part of my vlog below touches on this story.  (If you don't automatically see the video, click here)

And in regards to the coffee I raved about at the beginning of the video, you can request a free sample via my Facebook Page by clicking HERE 

Wishing you all Peace and Love!

xoxo

Vicki

Magic Beans....Coffee Beans

It's been an interesting bunch of days here at the Wolf Den.  Lots of changes and discoveries and stuff like that there.  2018 has already got things movin' and shakin'.

If you're here because of my Facebook post earlier today, welcome!   I'm going to tell you about what was in my cup.    And pssst....guess what....

Tee!  Hee!  It's true!

(I swear they have a Friends meme for everything!)

I promised that I'd share this new discovery and the easiest way to accomplish this task is two-fold.    First, I'm going to make you listen to me talk about it because it's just too much to type here.  Plus I'm all jazzed up with excitement about finding something so awesome.  After years of fighting sugar cravings and praying for help, I feel like I found a miracle!  

I did some research and development (R&D = drinking the coffee) and I feel like it's time to share.  Here's how we're gonna do this: 

Watch my video, full of love and information (and I completely forgot about the super awesome part until the last damn minute, but I managed to get it in there!).  Then take a look-see at the photos below. They expand on my chitchat.   

And after that, if you're as intrigued as I was, go to the website to get even more info and find out how you can get magic beans too (click here!).  

So, hang on....you're in for a great ride, especially if you've been dealing with the same issues that I have.  

Hey!  Watch this first....

And here are the photos I promised.  As I said, I can't do the Sciencey stuff and....well....someone already did it for me, so I'm just going to post what they wrote.  Thank you PR people!

The big picture - enlarged clips beloooooooooowwww!

Benefits?  There's benefits?  Why, yes there are!

And finally, WHAT IS IT?????

In case you missed the website above, here it is again https://elevacity.com/139685

If you have any questions, let me know!  Until next time......

xoxox

Vicki

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